Beans and Onions

Trying to control situations will only make you miserable. I worked with a woman that tried to control every aspect of her life down to her weight. In the almost 10 years I knew her, she was always about 95 pounds in her late 40s early 50s. Just imaging how rigid her food choices were makes me sad. She would eat a lunch of what looked liked canned string beans, onions and a few sparse pieces of what I think was feta cheese in Italian dressing every day. EVERY DAY! Can you imagine?

Food is everything! I enjoy flavors, textures, spices,  etc… Like if you don’t enjoy food, there’s something wrong with you. Even people that are on strict diets for health reasons still find ways to shake up their food choices. And most importantly, they eat a varied diet.  She never understood me and I never understood her. She didn’t get that sometimes I was late because I wanted to pick up a coffee or sleep in a bit. She hated that I would take a sick day here and there. I’m not a robot. I’m not about that beans and onions life!

Giving up trying to control everything is the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It allowed me to mess up and get back together without feeling like life was over. It allowed me to stop having unhealthy attachments to people and habits. It allowed me to live in moments versus planning every aspect of my day/life so that everything is predictable. Predictability is death. Predictability goes against everything that life is all about. We are in a constant state of striving to be better. If you’re already at your best, why are you still here? If life is as good as it gets, you’ve given up and chickened out.

Shake things up just for the hell of it. Take a day off and spend time with your family. Get that haircut you’ve been wanting. Buy a new outfit that you wouldn’t normally get. Wear a new shade of lipstick. Go out to a different place for lunch. Get out of your comfort zone. Stop conforming to the controls that other people have placed on themselves. Just because they have limits, that does not mean that you have to as well.



  1. Keen observations of how control can take over and debilitate us. It is unfortunate that sometimes people feel that so many aspects are out of control that they feel they have to even control whatever they’re able. Thanks for sharing!

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